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So you know, people actually read these things. Which really rocks to me because i feel like i have a community. And I’m really greatful that for now only my close friends read this blog, because i would be really embarassed if say…i don’t know, Erik read this blog. Jesus. Mags pokes fun at me for not being at all discreet in my blog… I try, I really try. But it always translate into “I love the boys who live in the house by the beach and their kick ass parties” or “the hot boy who loves jesus and makes great hamburgers.” Yeah. I know. Sad. But at least Erik would know that I love him. I think that in college his many roommates probably told him that I had a crush on him. I remember times when our friend Matt would ask if I ever told Erik, and I would smile and say “Noooooooooooooooo. but i think he knows” and Matt would confirm by smiling and shaking his head. I’m the dumbest person ever.

So anyway, one of the boys who live in teh house by the beach invited us allto go to the house of blues for gospel brunch. It kicked ass! Wow. And better yet, cute piano playing boy whose name starts with a D was there and was very cool. Hopes not up at all, just really glad to see him becauswe when you talk to him, he really listens, or appears to be listening. Which, actually boys listening really throws me off, because I honestly don’t have that much to say. Unless you’re a handful of people ( and by that I mean the people who are reading this blog right now) I probably don’t have that much to say to you.

So the problem with drinking, i’ve found, is that It lowers my seratonin levels so that I can feel waves of depression just sitting in my head. I’m sure its the drinking…but it could also be that I haven’t taken my medication in like, say, I don’t know…three months. Yeah, I know. I know. I don’t like the lows but i like the fun that I’ve had this month that comes from going nuts. And I don’t mean like crazy, but fun. Not that I don’t have fun usually when I’m medicated, but I haven’t been as regularly faithful to my mental health as I should be and I’m sure that I would have just as much fun right now as i would if i were on them. (I stopped taking them because between stretches of intermittent medicating myself, I would get sick and decided that right now is not the proper time to be getting sick. I just don’t have the time to take care of myself or deal with what comes along with it. When I’m off track I’ll take care of myself. Then It will be cool.)

Eharm crush update: like the mental 15 year old girl that I really am…no seriously i’m almost 24 but willingly and knowingly admit that I get all kinds of excited like a 15 year old girl, my crush as now moved from ben to kevin.

Has anyone seen the new olive garden commercial about soup salad breadsticks commercial? the black “character” looks exactly like hera. Deal with that america.

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