So….in the name of putting my self out there this is what I wrote to Kevin…because I really like him and he really likes me…and I’ll be damned if I let Erik happen twice in my lifetime. I’m not going to let another amazing person that I have an amazing connection with walk out of my life…or at least not know how I feel about them. Whoa…its instense and I like him and well here it is:
How is your stomach? Any better? Goodness I hope so because I’m honestly going to be pretty forward in this moment. Now that I’ve typed that I really can’t go back and erase it because, well…it just wouldn’t be me. Actually it would be me, but I’m trying to embrace that whole “you’ve already experienced what you fear” notion..becuase it is brilliant. Anyway, today has been the best day ever. I try not to speak in absolutes too often but in the days of days (is that really a term) it has really turned out to be one of the best. Let me recap…backwards! (this is where I recap my day and the great things that have happened).
Wow, so I guess that forward moment was supposed to happen a while ago wasn’t it? Oh…I went kite flying again after school…today was a little better then Sunday but still nothing awesome. Anyway I decided to take Good Friday off as a personal day. So here I go…watch out…I think we should get together if its possible. Whhhhoooooaaaaaa…I know forward. I’m putting the idea in your head because well its something thats been put out there in our emails. I’m kinda nervous typing this because really, for the same reasons as you…its really an unknown factor. i can’t keep my fingers from typing that i really dig this guy and i don’t really want anything but to see his smile and to bake with him. time tells everything. so, since i’ve just about dumped everything out of my shell, i’m kinda putting it on you to follow your instincts. these are my instincts to just be bare in the fucking rain with a god damn clear parka…did i just write that? What? I hope it made you laugh. Anyway, seriously whenever you’re ready… I’m going to the gym. I’m still kinda on a high from having such a great day.
So…see, i’m putting myself out there and I don’t think I’ll regret it..because he is just awesome…and when I read his emails my stomach does these things and I can’t help but fucking smile…God….wow…and this is as close to fucking blown away any of you will ever see from me, because any moment now I will return to calm, cool, well dressed Candy…any moment now, i swear.