I’m attached. I’m totally attached. I like him way more then I’ve ever liked anyone. After a marathon date on Friday I indulged in my favorite treat and after he was done with me, he held me. At dinner we talked about things that I don’t even like to admit to myself, and have only heard come from my mouth and into turned into words only twice before. Its hard to deny the truth when its asked point blank but trying to make sense of it all was even harder especially when it really is the way it sounds no matter how much we want to believe that it didn’t actually happen that way. I’m watching Magnolia. I am having the same emotional response to it that I did when I was 20 years old. This time its different…but the same. Tears. Anger. Trying to undersand. A deep need to protect. I feel so messed up. I really like this guy. I don’t want to be messed up around this guy. He said that it wouldn’t change the way he feels about me…that it changes nothing. I really like this guy. I’m holding it together. I’ve always held it together. I’m going to take tomorrow off so that I can get everything in order.


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