The Boyfriend Rubric


So last night over dinner Mags and I get to talking. We were talking about the potentiality of hte men we have started to date. I’m really thinking about this Kevin thing because he’s cool, but I don’t want to get invested if its not going to go anywhere. Like it sounds like it will go somewhere but actions speak louder then words. So, being the excellent teachers we are, we decided to come up with an analytic rubric by which to score our current candidates and all future candidates. We’ve been throwing around this idea for awhile. It came up at a party about seven months ago, but now we’ve put it on paper. The categories are based on values that matter to us. Her roommate Angella suggested the additional category of passion. You should evaluate your own values and see how well your mate matches up with your needs. This was just for fun, but we feel like these values will hold true for a while.

We also created a rubric by which to evaluate ourselves.

Directions: Rate your mate by how well he fits each category. Be brutally honest with yourself (we were). Add up your score: 12 is the average…anything under a 10 should really probably be rethought.

Looks and Attractiveness
4 Brad Pitt– Adonis perfect with great hair, teeth, hygiene, and style
3 50 Cent– Body like Adonis but not quite perfect (has some scars, bullet wounds) great hair, teeth, hygiene and style
2 Jim Carrey- Average looking dude with okay hair, teeth, hygiene and style
1 Drew Carrey- An unfortunate soul with awkward hair, teeth, hygiene and style.

Education and Ambition
4 Professional Degree and Career (Lawyer, Doctor etc.) Owns his home and his car.
3 Master’s Degree or a bachelor’s degree that is enough to get him to be the highest in his field; doesn’t own his home, but owns his car.
2 Manager of some sort; rents a fairly decent apartment; financing his car.
1 Retail or food service worker; lives with his parents; has no car.

4 HILARIOUS; social justice minded; Democrat
3 Funny; cares about others; Democrat
2 Makes me chuckle; doesn’t want to hurt others but doesn’t really cares; Independent
1 Not funny at all–actually kind of tries too hard to be funny and fails at it; seriously wants to hurt other people; REPUBLICAN

Treatment of Girl on a Date
Bring flowers for no reason; opens doors always; pays for everything when we go out.
3 Brings flowers for a holiday; opens doors occasionally; we go Dutch on dinner but he pays for the movie.
2 Brings flowers for only your birthday; opens doors when a) you are completely unable to or b) after he’s already walked through the door; cooks dinner instead of taking you out.
1 Never brings you flowers; doesn’t open doors for you; actually makes you cook dinner and clean instead of taking you out on a date.

My guy (K2) scored an 11.25. Looks: 2 Education: 3 Personality: 2.75 (he’s a Democrat but still supports the death penalty–I know…stop judging) Treatment of Girl on Date: 3.5

This is purely analytical. I’m sure that for every girl the values shift and change. Also, some values outweigh other values. We created this because we’re both really at second date level, so its an entry level rubric. Maybe once things—or if things— kick it up into high gear, things will be different. Stop laughing beotches…

Anyway, he’s definitely scoring points. He calls when he says he will, he is cooking me dinner at my place. And he is looking forward to Friday. So, he’s cool. And i’m not going to think about it anymore. Smile.


7 responses »

  1. These are the kind of antics that make me adore you.

    You are the BEST!

    I am glad Kevin is scoring points . . .he better have some major points to deserve you.

  2. Please note that this is certainly an entry level rubric…Chris is awesome and is going to be your husband someday. And this is just by our cracked out standards, Chris certainly brings more to the table then flowers: like the ability to listen, and be compassionate, and care. He is the BEST BOYFRIEND EVER!

  3. damn! Where was this rubic 3 weeks ago? DAMN. FD scored an 8 (barely) Montana scored a 13.

    damn damn.

    Looks like K2 is gaining some points

  4. wait I just read Mags blog… I think I need to use the girl rubric. Maybe you guys should create a lesbian one….

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