I am trying to convince myself that there is ice cream at the gym, and if i go to the gym i can get some ice cream while i’m there. Both the coldstone and the gym are in the same general direction…and this ploy has worked before. I just can’t get out of my chair. Tonight I’m feeling much better then the other nights this week. Both monday and Tuesday I just laid out on the couch and went to sleep. Last night was an upgrade, but not by much because if you remember, the only thing i ate for dinner was a bowl of chicken. Today I just woke up feeling better and knew that i had more energy and might actually be up for working out. Especially since it was parent teacher conference night—which went extraordinarily well in that I only have two students who i can say seriously negative things about, so it was a joy to talk to the other parents and to explain that their kid could be passing with a much higher grade if they did the homework—I was really lucky to have the energy that I did. I even turned down drinks not wanting to take the chance that I would feel even more tired. my entire body has felt out of whack lately which i can attribute to a) homesickness, b) the heat, and c) work. Sometimes I don’t know where I want to be, and its difficult to be in that spot when things are working so well. I have such good friends at work—i’m respected and people come to me with questions that I actually have the answers to!–, I have such good friends around the city, I love the sunshine….I just want to go home. With my car. And a place to stay. those things would be ideal and would make home 20 times more bareable. I was telling another teacher that she needed to move to Seattle. She visited this last winter in December, so she’s seen it at its worse—no, wait that’s february—and she loved it. And LA isn’t working for her so much anymore. I told her that honestly, its as simple as finding a teaching job and an apartment—both of which are in abundance in Seattle. The one thing that makes me want to leave seattle as quickly as possible is the grey. You’ve never seen such beautiful greens against a gray like that…but its grating after 9 months. I need seasons, but don’t want to leave the coast to have them. I need the water.