it always gets worse before it gets better. My stomach took a nose dive as I allowed myself to indulge in thoughts that can only lead to a very bad place. i felt so close to nauseious that i actually put on keanu reeves movie and just layed on the couch. i had to contribute the nausea to something. i finished all of my planning to nothink about anything. now its 530 and all i want to do is eat dinner and go to sleep. for the night. but i can’t go to sleep…because everytime i close my eyes i see his face. Ben had it right. its terrifying. very very terrifying. god. to make it worse we’re going to watch Hitch. Maybe thoughts of brian’s inadequacy will quell thoughts of bean’s potential and the unknown that is him. vomit.
mols just found $500 dollars from the federal government. she’s gonna cash it, and she’s gonna give me the cash so that we can reserve the apartment first thing in the morning….or at least by 4th period. which means i should get there a little bit early so that i can get a street parking spot. exciting I know.