reason, season, lifetime

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Mass was nice tonight. I met a nice young gentleman named Johnny, who even though he is getting married in a year, had a 45 minute conversation with me wherein he told me alot about his mom and his family. I must have one of those faces…I don’t know. We’re both in the same church program and I think its nice that the younger people are coming out of the woodwork and connecting. We’re starting to do that at work too. The young women who are not married are starting to hang out together. And foolishly they’re all leaving it up to me to plan something, or to initiate the hanging out. Yeah, damn it! I am such a slacker. We’re supposed to see “Rent’ on Tuesday…and me and Krich have decided that it is time for us to start going out and breaking hearts. Once we get paid.

Dij told me the other night that we have friends for a season, a reason, and a lifetime…and she has decided that the reason we are friends is because a)we are geniuses and b)she is supposed to convince me to have babies. babies…hmmmmmm…..a new friend from church is currently pregnant and her legs went numb tonight during the first 15 minutes of the service. NUMB. I don’t think so. I know I could adopt, but I have greater fears of a)being a bad parent and b)passing on a mental illness, then I do about whether or not someone will be there to take care of me when i get old. Everyone is f-ing pregnant or getting married. Another friend from work just got his wife pregant again…she just gave birth 5 months ago…and she’s 2 months pregnant. wow. Leave her alone. No, men who are good husbands and fathers are sooooo attractive. You just kind of admire from afar and smile, because that is what a man is supposed to be like.

This weeks goal is being more humble. i told this to Dij who responded “What, you be more humble?” I mean, less shit talking. Its like it just comes out of my mouth without even thinking becuase i’m such a reationary person. I should possibly think before speaking or digest news before I react. There is never much actual emotion behind what is said…its just a snap moment in time judgement that may or may not carry weight but that i am probably not committed to following through on. Its actually this lifetimes goal, buti am making the extra effort to focus on it this week. That…and going to practice…and finishing the Gospel of Mark.

Goodness…could I have anymore to do? Oh…i slept until 3 pm today….fucking great.

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