I love alcohol. did I tell you that? I love it. I got absolutely giddy at the thought of–and reality— of ordering a margarita with my first meal of the day (which was at 11:30 and in a restuarant so don’t act all shocked.) I’m not addicted to it but I just love the way it tastes or can taste. I love that liqueor is delicious, excessive, and fattening—much like gravy (don’t get me started on how much I love gravy.) Not that liqueor as the same consistency of gravy–its just as excessive though. I mean do I really need my coffee or milk to taste like irish cream infused alcohol…no. But is it damn good and that much better because of it…YES! Did I need a margarita along with a diet coke…no. Was my day made that much better…yes. Its the same reason I endure an endless search for the most perfect pallette of eyeshadow and foundation…BECAUSE I CAN! I work out and there are alot of other areas I’m not getting calories (like I have only had gravy twice this year!) so i figure I can indulge a little now and then.

And how much do I love that Francis Ford Copolla has put his sparkling wine, Sophia, into individual serving cans! How hot is that! I am going to BevMo tomorrow to pick one up just to try it out. Maybe it will be my NYE party favor.

So…I inadvertantly told my roommate she has low self esteem…but also in regards to my own low self esteem. It wasn’t quite as inadvertent as it was a blatant statement that was about the result of our slightly bitchy upbringings with insane parents. Its our common ground. She denies she has low self esteem but really, don’t we all in some small way or another have a flaw that we are concerned about inwardly. I’m not saying that we all want to kill ourselves, don’t love our bodies, and are heading straight head first towards a heroin addiction (SMACK…yum! not really I kid) but we’re not perfect, and we all have fears and insecurities. Its normal. It makes us human. But, good news is, she’s admitted that she goes out drinking (FINALLY!) and now this will make bar hopping in the NELA area that much easier because at least I won’t be the only drinking or the only one not binge drinking (f-ing teachers i swear). It was good to hear that she enjoyed whiskey sours and wine while she was away. It was also good to get the drunken christmas eve text message. Drinking…its good for the soul.

I took a nap (after dealing with Adelphia…which is slowly becoming passive agressive worst costumer service ever…they’re so nice about doing NOTHING!) and totally missed hanging out with Bunny this evening. I feel terrible because today was her father’s funeral. We talked this morning though, and she went to the grave sight and felt really at peace which is great and all that can be asked for. I also went to the gym for the longest time becuase I’ve finally re-introduced resistance training into my working out. I can do my cardio for the longest time but its good to have resistance training (almost better I’ve heard). I don’t like how when I didn’t work out for two months I lost five pounds, but now that I’ve hit the gym again I’ve gained. Of course it does not help to have access to a scale that I can use twice in a two hour period (EXCESSIVE). But I’ve decided that this year will be not about focusing on numbers on a scale but resolving to do healthy things, or at least continue to do the healthy things, i’ve been doign this month: going to the gym, enjoying a ballet class, spending time with friends, eating more fruits and vegetables (I’ve eaten alot this month! at least 3 servings everyday thanks to the sell on salad stuff and berries at vons) reading, and not stressing out. Tomorrow I plan to sit down and hammer out how I really want my first month to go, and then we’ll go from there to see about avoiding stress during the school year. Happy almost new years everyone.


One response »

  1. Geez, I feel so guilty now for not knowing how many times I had gravy in 2005.

    And, yes, we all have low self-esteem and insecurities…I’m becoming more aware of these lately. And I hate it. ugh.

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