Because I will type anything that comes to my head…


Because you know how I just can’t focus on my work….

“That’s so funny, because you’re such a pleasant person…I just don’t see how you two are friends.” I have heard that statement from at least three people about two very different individuals. It makes me laugh for two reasons: 1) these two people do not even like each other and 2) am I really that pleasant? I actually see myself as rather moody and kinda bitchy. I smile a lot though. There really is no reason to let the world get you down when you’re planning global domination. I mean, it really is just a matter of time before I make it all work my way anyway.

This poor woman in front of me is wearing yellow, high watered overalls that have a very unfortunately ugly floral print on them. Wow. See what I mean. Bitchy. Kinda judgey. Not in a “you’re a bad person because you’re a horrible dresser kind of way.” By no means is anyone really good or evil (I am way too noncommittal to my judgment calls. I mean you could be the worse dresser but I that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. We just wouldn’t kick it in public a lot.) and I am totally capable of admitting when I’m wrong . For example, Maggie was totally right about ponchos. We all doubted her, and they became the hottest thing since _____________________ [fill in the blank yourself!] And I usually stand in awe of the judgment calls of friends—I live vicariously through their adventures and enjoy every moment of it no matter what polite society says. But really, I have been known to have that look on my face of “Oh, I totally wouldn’t have made that decision” or in a “oh that makes no fucking sense” kind of way when all is said and done. I do try my hardest to see redeeming qualities in everyone, even those people I want to stab in the face (one never knows when she will need a “favor”). For example: In the pats six months I have only talked to my sister 3 times! 3 TIMES! And two of those times I honesty believe she didn’t even mean to answer the phone, she just accidentally hit the button and was too polite to hang up (note: I would have just hung up). That 3rd time was Christmas night after she received the $125 Target gift card I sent her. My feelings are: I love you, I love you, STAB STAB STAB. Or there is a certain person who lives @4620, whom I have outwardly expressed disdain for but whom I am perfectly nice to in our LMU class….Okay, now I’m just lying. I have more then once completely and more then apparently snubbed this girl. At the beginning of this life time I really did just try to be polite even though I have a disdain towards her, but then she snubbed my friend and so in turn I completely snubbed her—even when she went shopping with three of us…And I drove (I know, how 5th grade of me…Whatever.) I even made the statement “If such and such becomes friends with her, I will stop speaking to him.” He did (and snubbed my friend) so I did.

But then this all makes me wonder: Am I elitist? I don’t even know if I spelled that right. I just texted Mags, Corey, and Alex so we should have our answer in a matter of hours or minute (these people have lives). I mean, I will no longer do certain things that society has deemed acceptable and fashionable because of my upbringing. For example: I will not wear clothes from thrift stores no matter how “In” vintage is. I grew up having to wear clothes from thrift stores before it was “cool” why would I wear them now that I can afford new clothes? I physically cannot bring myself to eat cantaloupe or anything that has been smothered with cantaloupe because it reminds me of a) the cheap fruit substitution option at restaurants [always its red grapes, a slice or wedge of orange, and a slice of melon–cantaloupe or honey dew— and a strawberry if its in season] and b) the fruit selection that comes with the free lunch we received during those summer parks and rec things at this park around the corner from my grandmother’s house when I was a kid. Maybe its psychosomatic. (spellcheck anyone?) Probably the same reason I can no longer knowingly eat a)Hamburger or Tuna helper, b)Kraft macoroni and cheese, c)canned fruit cocktail –this will come and go in time– d) some canned vegetables and e)_________________ [fill in the blank, because I probably wouldn’t eat that either]. I have such weird issues with food. I blame my parents. My weird issues for food probably account for the fact that: a) I almost always have a craving for fried chicken b) when I am cold I long for lasagne or meat loaf. MEAT LOAF! No one likes meat loaf. I also often times have a craving for BIG BLACK COCK!.

I kid, I kid. That was for you Alex. Actually, that was for all the readers of this insanity. Could you imagine if you were sitting with me in starbucks right now? You’d never get any work done.

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