Dave chapelle has this sketch about having a mini stenographer…a “little person” who can be put on your back and document your day….well, that is what we needed in Vegas, except we needed a camera crew following us for various reasons…a)we need to be able to recount exactly how event transpired and b)it was just too good to not be shared with the world. If I’ve said it once I’ll say it again….we need our own tv show. oh reason c) I don’t quite remember everything that happened, but I will do my best to recount events in the order in which they occured.
Adventures in Las Vegas 4: Happy Birthday
7125- Angella, Candy A, Nina, me 7127- Mags, Emma, Katherine, Julian.
a) on the drive to vegas I realized that I didn’t have anything to wear that was dressy (because even though I packed my entire closet I still didn’t have a dress shirt) so we go to Charolotte rousse where we try on corsets! HOT!
b)Watched the denver broncos beat the New England Patriots in the lobby of The Mandalay Bay. It was here that Nina noticecd that I was the only black person in the entire lobby. Thus was the start of “spot the black person”–we saw maybe 5 during the entire duration of the game.
Nina had it right when she said that we were the porn that white men watch. We bowled everyone over walking through the hotels and on the tram trying to get to the Bellagio. We are approached by two different promoters for Light who gave us their cards to get us into the club and buy us a round of drinks. Nina jumped us to the front of the line at Fix, where the servers fell all over themselves in a manner that they did not have with the other guests. At the end of dinner they brought Angella balloons out of nowhere and a delicious dessert. our waiter Erick also worked his magic and got us into Light for free–which had a 30 dollar cover.
Fucking Light was packed and not all that it could have been. for one…they were playing Journey and Bon Jovi. It was seriously the music we’d said we didn’t want to hear. so we bounced and headed for Risque in The Paris Hotel. Risque was much better. We grilled the bouncer about the music and the clientele, and Candy A. even got the price dropped down from 20 to 10 dollars. The music was good, the dance floor wasn’t packed, and well, we certainly did meet some interesting guys who plied us with alcohol and other goodies in hopes of sleeping with us. All it did was get me and Candy A. drunk–this guy wanted to buy her drinks, and she bargained to have my drinks bought as well…and then I drank her shots…and got faded as all fuck. I don’t quite remember how we got to the rumba room (i think it involved a russian cab driver) or how much bad spanish I spoke (ahhhh..), but somehow we ended up at our hotel and in the Rumba Room or the Rum Jungle or whatever it was called…and apparently I was making out with a guy in a matter of minutes. Like I thought we’d been dancing for at least 3 songs…but they were remixed songs so it was like 5 seconds. I got his number. We closed the place down (we were there for like 20 minutes) and we meet these dudes in the hallway, and before I know it I’m making out with a guy in a Denver Bronco’s jerseys….according to Nina and Angella this was not the same guy as in the club. I only remember making out all over the casino, text messaging someone “Donde esta” and then ending up against a wall in front of the elevators while people walked by ….still making out with this guy. Making those new years resolutions come true.
d) Angella and nina had a great time out until 8 am and found out that on Sunday nights opium was the place to find the Black folk. So we grabbed the crew from 7127 and had an excursion in the cold getting to breakfast, took naps, and drank champagne and mimosa before heading to dinner at 10pm. Because in Las Vegas there is no such thing as a 6:30 pm dinner. Opium was filled with all types of delicious black men who took an especial liking to Mags’ friend Katherine. I was very impressed. I must have no sense of smell because Mags says the guy I was dancing with smelled, but I couldn’t smell him–which was probably good for me. Kid Capri deejayed. I roughly remember seeing him open for Puff Daddy back in ’99 on the Puff Daddy tour. We got debaucherous pictures that will be sent to everyone and their mom via snapfish.
e) this morning we woke up, checked out, and had really good $5.00 steak and eggs in Primm. That drive is always killer. No matter how long you’ve been driving, you’re never quite in Las Vegas or Los Angeles. I’m flying in next time I swear. The weekend was awesome. My hair is fried from all the holding agents I put into it, and I met Angella’s and Mag’s friends. Its hard to recount everything because it was all so much fun but you really had to be there. Its almost 9 and I’ve got t o deep conditin this shit, email some pictures, and hit the sack.