Ha!

Standard

do you think actors ever look at the roles they are taking and think to themselves, “what the hell is this crap?” and just are in complete bewilderment about what would make them take such a crappy role in a c minus flick? Well, besides the fact that it pays the bills, you can’t get much else, and there is this notion of having to “pay one’s dues.” why must we the american public suffer while you “pay your dues?” not that we don’t have a choice, because we do…but damn. (for example: alyssa milano’s entire body of “cinematic” work after Who’s the Boss but before Charmed, and definitely including Poison Ivy2; or Drew Barrymore’s entire cinematic body of work after ET and before Woody Allen’s Everyone says I love you in 1996, also including poison Ivy 1.)

For example, there is this little known flick called “Venom.” it stars every single B-minus list star under the age of 25, or possibly 30 (because who knows how old bijou phillips really is?) the premise is that while trying to save the life of an elderly black woman a man is possessed by the spirits of 13 insane men. spirits that happened to be embodied in the snakes the woman carried around in a suitcase. the flock of b-minus acting youth must perform some voodoo ritual to save their lives. Needless to say a whole bunch of people die, except one blond chick. Because they can survive anything. WHAT THE FUCK! snakes that are possesed by lunatics. Voodoo rituals in the Lousiana swamp? Okay that last one sounds kinda realistic. All I can say is “Wow.”

At least with b-minus stars they need the money. What was Jennifer Aniston thinking when she made “Rumor has it.” Oh that had almost no discernible plot. So you’re confused, feel like you don’t fit in with your family, so you go in search of the man who may be your father –then sleep with him. The whole film was so rushed and so convuluted that even as the ending credits roll you have no idea what you just watched. Well besides rich white folks running amok and fucking up their lives. But there was a pretty descent shout out to the tunnels on the pasadena freeway (110north–way north) that are just outside of highland park. What what HP!

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One response »

  1. I saw a movie on the plane with Matthew McCooonnnaahhheeyy and what’s her butt-Sex in the City. Failure to Launch, pretty bad. A must see

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