Janice Dickinson


So almost exactly a year ago I said this about Janice Dickinson. It was during her stint on The Simple Life, and after seeing a commerical where she was making fun of the Mentally Retarded. I look back at my comments, and realize that…well, I still feel rather correct in my assessment of her character. I mean, I didn’t say anything too off base. And granted, that little scene on the Surreal life really could have been her just refusing to treat anyone differently because of their exceptionality…I mean, she comes off as a bitch to everyone. But then I went to the website for her new show, Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, and after first seeing the craziest two gay men in the world (Gabe and Duke) do a video called “Balls of Gas” while shopping in a health food store that wasn’t Whole foods (who knew carrots made your cum taste like candy?) I then started to read DIVA 101…and I must say, I now have adoring love for JD. She is funny, and honest, and over the top, and well…..well, you see what happens when a person dislikes Tyra Banks and the red weave of death as much as I do? It makes us best friends. Here’s a highlight of what instantly turned the tide:

What are some of your goals with the new agency?

To put American models back on the covers of the magazines where they belong. I’m tired of seeing the Brazilians and the Russians and the Scandos, just you know, cutting in and taking over just because it’s flavor of the month. It’s about time that African-American, Asians, and women of all colors and nationalities represent. We all live in America.

Are there any favorite models that you feel are over-rated?

Certainly– Tyra Banks, Heidi Klum. The last era of the supermodel was with Tyra, Heidi, and Naomi. Naomi gets a bad rap, because she was put out when she was 14 years old. She was just thrown out of the nest way too early. So yeah, she has rage issues, but I’m here to protect her. She’s one of the greatest models that ever hoofed a runway.

What are a few beauty mistakes you see the average woman make frequently?

Believe in the hype that they could look like the covers of magazines that are completely re-touched, video enhanced and digitally molded to look like Sarah Jessica Parker is actually pretty.

AMEN SISTER! It was that last comment that made me go, “Oh, I love you.” because SJP is not a pretty person. she looks like a witch. between that nose and that mole, she didn’t need any prostethics to play the witch in Hocus Pocus. Trademark, schmade mark. Eat a sandwhich and a cookie while I turn the channel to something that is not SaTC or Seinfeld. [That comment could be construed by some as, well, Anti-semetic, but its not. Its just a matter of preference- while funny at times, and American icons certainly, I feel that both shows are highly overrated. Just the same way one could look at the lack of Blacks or Latinos in both shows as a bit, well, racist… From what I hear, New York is pretty segregated in terms of who kicks it where, even as you climb the economic ladder. And I’ve heard this from black people, and read it in black magazines…kinda disputes the myth of the great integrated North. But so does the fact that be Boston Red Sox were the last major league baseball team to integrate– long after everyone else did- in 1959. As does the racist achievement gap in most of the large Northern metropolitan areas from the Pacific to the Atlantic, and everywhere beneath.]

Back to my point, I’m not saying she’s my favorite person, and i certainly don’t concede any points i’ve made in the past, but she’s now back on the right side of my affection.

(don’t you love how i speak as if I am the authority for what is right in my world? I so need to go to church.)


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