I got my issue of Vanity Fair in the mail this afternoon! That is the cutest fucking baby ever. She’s almost as beautiful as Angella’s principal’s baby, noah…who was born a “G”…if you’d seen his picture at 2 days old where he is just looking into the camera like, “How you doin’?” I’ve decided to give working at home a try. I’m gonna get together some info for moving into the new place, like, where the fuck is the closest grocery store…starbucks…mall…Bally Total Fitness. I think I have to change my whole routine in the afternoon..,i work so close to my gym that instead of going to work out at night I should go work out in the afternoon. This being the plan, I am currently wishing the real autumn weather would set in. my body wants to feel a slight chill, like 78 degrees, and see the changing of the leaves. i love that i have a month and a half left until fall break. oh hell to the muthafuckin yeah.
So, I’ve just looked through the 22 page layout of the TomKat Suri photo spread in Vanity Fair. You know what Suri reminds me of? The child born of alien birth on the USA network show “The 4400.” 4400 people were abducted throughout various times in history. then, on one day they were returned-all at once- to the town from which they were abducted. At one point in history a black man was abducted, at another point in history a white woman was abducted (if you can’t guess what happened next, you’re seriously dense) and so in this realm of abduction they managed to copulate. when they returned to earth, white girl is seriously pregnant, so throughout seasons one and two (season one was like 5 episodes) she’s pregnant, learns that the embryo has magical powers, and they have a baby. Who…in season 3…fucking magically grows to age 22…as in that’s part of the plot. her mother mysteriously dies and suddenly she’s 22…and has wicked powers. Fucking A- I give suri three years of livng before they all mysteriously move to sweden and out of the sight of paparazzi ala shania twain for a while, and then return with a gorgeous 22 year old daughter. You know how I know this is going to happen…because, much like baby noah who will grow up and save the world, Suri is just looking directly into the camera in like every single picture. she’s like hypnotised me into thinking, “oh yeah, i could totally have one of those.” and then you look at those pictures of Kate and Tom, and think “wow..dreams do come true. I am soooo not settling.” though my dream is not to settle with someone who is obviously crazy. but the baby pics did not hypnotise me into thinking that scientology is something i shouldn’t laugh at, especially now that i am going to be living around the corner from THE scientology center.
I have to respect Tom on one point…he adopted a black child. Like not a child from another nation, but a black child from somewhere on the north american continent. I have never understood why celebrities….ie Angelina…would adopt internationaly when there are children in the US who need homes. Granted, I have no idea where Connor Cruise came from, I mean he, like Nicole Richie, could be the adopted off spring of some psuedo celebrity who just couldn’t handle raising a kid so they pawned them off on a friend (OPRAH!). However, Tom is one of the few, proud, the marines…no sorry, wrong one…that stepped up to the plate and adopted where others have not…The United States.