Holy Shit

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So I guess Saddam’s gonna be put to death for his crimes against humanity. I can remember exactly where I was when they found Saddam in a bunker in a hole in the ground. I was actually spending the night at mag’s house in redondo beach, back when she lived with Mark. We’d just finished a movie and were gonna go to sleep and before I could turn off the TV there was a news report that Saddam had been captured. My first thought: oh shit, bush is gonna be in office for awhile thanks to this one. Yes, well…

Doogie howser came out of the proverbial closet to People magazine according to the folks at TMZ…and I realized why we all think my ex-roommate’s current fiance is gay. the picture is worth a thousand words.

I saw her tonight actually and reminded her of how she was upset when this TFA teacher didn’t take a job at franklin, instead opting to teach at Beverly Hills High School. Mols was kinda pissed…which is ironic in hindsight because she’s now teaching at an all girl’s private school. hypocrite. I mean, i’m not mad at for for wanting to teach some place different, some place that’s easier. just there is no need to talk shit about other people and then do the exact same thing. Actually there is no need to talk shit about someone who didn’t want the same job you didn’t want. actually…there’s no reason to talk shit about teaching, and then continue to teach. there is actually no reason to talk shit about your former students and their low level of comprehension in comparison to these girls who have been in private schools their entire lives. she wants to do this thing where her AP class at the private school switches places with the AP class at FHS for the day. Why? I don’t see how that would be effective at all…its not like our kids are going to be able to continue to recieve that quality of eduation..you no longer work there, the teacher they have right now sucks, and really, this isn’t some fucking TV show on MTV (remember that show where they took the poor black kid from the hood and he switched places with this rich white kid….for like a week? they had all kinds of people switch places on that show). don’t pity or trivialize our students to try to make some point that you’re unable to really follow through on because you are no longer there or even really able to get it yourself. its hard to articulate, but I think the idea is bullshit. This is not Dangerous Minds. You are not Michelle Pfiefer.

I guess its about perspective and why you got in it in the first place. I’ve been going to visit these schools with really similar populations of kids as those at franklin: brown, black, and a hand full of white kids. they have these great facilities that are not 90years old and filled with asbestos. They have working air conditioning and heat. That’s what I want. I want to work at a new school with a competent administration that is stable and willing to actually stick around to make some sort change. Fucking LA and their love of their old ass buildings. That’s why I would leave FHS. I would leave in order to not freeze my ass off in January…or August.

I would also leave in order to make more money. I have developed this paralzying fear of not being able to take care of my family if they need me. Its actually been the foundation for everything I do. I did well in High School in order to get in to college, in order to get a good job, in order to avoid being homeless and being able to take care of myself. then in ’99 my neice enters the picture, and it changes everyone’s perspective on life. then my mother loses her job and that changes everything as well. she doesn’t have the education, or confidence, or proximity to get a job that will allow her to take care of herself and my niece. I need to be able to make enough money to take care of myself financially and to take care of her no matter what happens. that’s what I’m in it for. I’m in it for the security of knowing that I will be able to take care of the people I love. so I know that If I leave this profession it will be to follow a path that will allow me to do that. That will allow me to make the type of money that will let me take care of the people I love.

Speaking of love, you know what I abhor? Those fucking skinny jeans. Especially on men.

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One response

  1. A good friend of mine gave me his definition of integrity. He states it’s the lack of space between what you say and what you do. So if say you’re a vegetarian for compassion to animals and eat a Big Mac, there’s not much integrity since the gap between what you say and do is huge. However, if you say you’re a vegetarian for the same reasons and don’t even wear leather shoes or a belt, and would rather go hungry than eat at Mickey dee’s, you’re integrity is strong since there’s very little or no gap between what you say and what you do.

    You my Dear Beauty Junkie, have integrity. I applaud you.