my friend Sarah and I have been on the same emotional plane for much of our lives without ever really having to acknowledge it. we had a talk tonight in which we realized that we both want something more from our lives, we’re just not sure what, and are kinda lost trying to find it. The big difference is she’s married with a kid, and i’m in LA. I gave her the best advice I could, or that anyone could, which was talk to her husband about her depression so that they could work together to figure out how to best help her take care of herself. I’ve gotten the best advice that I could get which was to Fake it until I’ve got it. So see, we’re both on our way towards what we want, we’re just not sure of what it is. all i can say is I am glad that I don’t have it as bad as some of these folks on this show Intervention. I can say that I am blessed to not have an addiction to any thing stronger then sugar, and sometimes, if i try really hard, i can control that. I have a full time job. I have great friends. I have an apartment–granted its not decorated yet, but who cares–and am not homeless. Dude, I am so glad that I don’t self medicate. Becuase if i did some of the shit this woman on this show is doing tonight, I would be seriously embarassed…..and well, would have the need to self medicate. i’m actually just avoiding writing a proposal. I had a really great three day weekend, where I got to meet new people all over the place, and I was forward, and talked. Its practice, its good. I went to the UCLA game by myself, I met up with the coroporate folks that I knew would be there, and talked and met new folks who I’m sure I’ll see at other events, but I was without my own close friend so i was forward in meeting people, and talking. I even sat in the stands by myself for abit, surrounded by really nice people who were talkative and one reminded me of my dad, but then saw the coroporate group i was with and joined them as well. See.
I’m a freak though because if I’m sober (and I only qualify that statement because the only time I haven’t seen this happen was in Vegas where I wasn’t sober at all….and the exact opposite results occured) and there are people around that I find attractive, sometimes I can barely even look at them. That didn’t happen the last time I was sufficiently liqoured up, but I think we’ve all come to the consensous that those times were insane, and should be apart of the past…or just a not so frequent part of the present. So, I’m gonna practice. And I’m gonna practice. And practice some more. And thank my lucky stars for the great things that I have.