Mother

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I’m watching “Momento” and though I’ve seen it before, watching it on cable makes it less intelligible because of the constant breaks for commercials. Crimeny.

Actualmente, I am sitting in my bed surrounded by the three books that yo estoy leyando actualmente. The first, and most interesting, is that cook book, How to Boil Water. Its so well written, and the recipes are so simple, and are accompanied by wonderful pictures, that I’ve found myself sitting in bed reading through the recipes as if they were pages in a cohesive novel. the second book is the new one by Mitch Albom, “For one more day” a story told to a fictional reporter by a man whose life went to shit, and then repentinamente, he encounters his dead mother very much alive. The third book is a philosophical book that my sister got me for christmas three years ago called “The Power of Now.” Its a man’s philosophical journey to developing enlightenment…its more of a how to book actually. This is the first time I’ve picked it up in three years. His belief is that we hold ourselves back with the way we cling to issues from our past, and call them our identity, and that we are oppressed by our anxieties about the future. We are repressive and unhappy because our focus on the past and anxieties about the future keep us from experiencing the now. Its like a hodgepodge of the common central factors of most religions…but without pushing any kind of religion. Yo pienso. I’ve only read the first few pages, and i have to go back to re-read them and to really think about what the hell he’s talking about. But I can at least see what he means by being oppressed by our anxieties and our past. I was going to start this entry with the thought that I can’t imagine a world without my mother. however, why do I need to worry myself with thoughts about a world without my mother? Why don’t I just enjoy the time that I have with my mother. Enjoy what she brings to my life right now. Its the same thing when I recall growing up with a mom like my mom. i could think about how all of the negative things about growing up with my mother created a young woman who freezes in moments of danger, who is having to unlearn years of negative thinking and perception, blah, blah, blah. But what good would that do? what if i push myself to focus on today, right now, disconnect myself from that past that breeds fear, and try being fearless? Reject those negatives that effect the person that I believe I am, and go forward to experience the world and who I will become. I don’t know. Its my idea of what I think he’s trying to say, and I think that is beneficial to my life in a way. There is no reason to wallow myself to be controlled by anything but where I am right now. i’m a work in progress. i think i’ve been trying to work on being more in the “now” for longer then I can remember. i guess the key to this dudes philosophy is that i’ll be there when i stop thinking about trying to be there. Silencing ourselves…reminds me of the Eastern Religion classes i took in college. so, like guys, cooking, and getting fit, I am just gonna keep practicing. Keep working on it.

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One response »

  1. The Power of Now is an excellent book, and for me it was critical in getting some other books I read to properly mesh. In high school I was an Alan Watts fan, reading Zen books like there was no tomorrow. I also read the Tao Te Ching, as well as the Tao of Pooh and different books on Zen for martial artists. Nothing brought it all together until I read The Power of Now.

    One of the things I remember from Tolle’s book is that ego lives either in the past or the future, but cannot exist in the present. When you’re present, when you’re conscious aka ‘awake’, that’s the real you, not your ego.

    I’m currently reading “The Lazy Man’s guide to Enlightenment”, but I’m looking forward to the next book entitled, “The Transparent Self”.

    Have a wonderful weekend.

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