oh for fuck’s sake


i didn’t make chicken noodle soup. What was I thinking? I don’t even eat left-overs so this would be pretty fucking stupid. I’m glad i came to my senses early in the evening. I plugged in my new space heater. i made pasta with hot spicy sausage. And then I realized that my apartment is doing what it did when I first moved in. My mortal enemies have returned-i’ve only seen one which means they’re here–, just in time for me to re-develop my sense of anxiety that I had so lovingly let go in exchange for blissful cleanliness. what pisses me off is that, hello! this place is really clean. the kitchen at least. the living area is a bit cluttered, but i vaccuumed recentlly and I clean all of the time! no surface has any food on it, no food is ever left out in the open. I am on top of that shit. Everytime i open my door I survey the walls, just in case. i can’t possibly have people over now. oh for fuck’s sake.

Cnn.com was filled with bullshit articles about the atrocious acts of other human beings. Like this. Who does this? Or that…who does that? Or the video clip about the man who posted his child for “free” on craigslist because he didn’t want the child to live with his mother any longer? That’s a video, so there is no direct link, but its there. this is going to drive me nuts. do you see what they have done to me…i am now insane.

You know what will make me feel real better…reorganizing my itunes….or not. You know what is intensely wierd? the fact that we’re allgonna have babies someday. Isn’t that wierd? I think it really really is…like I was watching this commercial for that new movie “We are Marshall” –a football movie– and Matthew McConaheughy (?) is holding his kid, and asks him “son, what day is it?” and this kid, toddler age, says “game day.” And Matt asks, “what day?” and the kid says louder, “GAME DAY!” oh how cute is that! Totally cute enough to wipe out memories of crying–no, scratch that—shrieking babies at the store today. But not completely obviously.


One response »

  1. Reading your post reminded me of a passage in the Quran that I’m about to paraphrase: “When God made the Angels, he made them with intellect but void of any passions. When God made the animals he made them with passions but void of any intellect. When God made man he made him with intellect and passions, so whenever we ignore our passions and follow our intellect were said to be better than the angels. However, if follow our passions and ignore our intellect, we’re worse than the animals.”

    To me at least, this explains why we, as humans, can be so depraved and do some really horrendous things to one another and the world around us, but it also explains how we can do such wonderful and touching things full of love.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s