Awwwwww. Aren’t they the cutest?! These are the HAI Robert’s two dogs. The little grey one is a 12 week old female, and the bull dog (a french bull dog) is a much older male who is her protector. I’m not making this shit up. He told me. You thought I was crazy, didn’t you? I may be struggling with my comma usage, but I’m not crazy. He touches me when we talk! Take that! I’m so glad i’m a dog person. My friend Maegan- who, socially, is the white version of me (shut up!) in that we both struggle socially with people we’re attracted to- is not a dog person, which I don’t understand. I guess its because dogs are much like children–you gotta get home to take care of them, you have to walk them, clean up their shit- quite literally–unlike cats…which come and go as they please and fucking shed their fucking hair everywhere. They’re also jealous little bitches. Fucking urban legends of cats stealing your breath, or smothering babies. What the fuck is that? Okay, its a lot less serious then those true life news stories of dogs tearing people apart…or, dingos that eat people’s babies! But, I still like dogs (small, yet strong dogs) better. Big and tall dogs that jump on their hind legs scare the shit out of me. Especially because dogs get all, what I like to call “rapey,” and start humping shit. That’s not funny. We all saw that episode of the Real World where they had to pour sugar on the dog’s pecker (yes, I said pecker) because his erection wouldn’t go down…cuz he kept humping shit. Much like that one case in Japan of the student who wouldn’t stop raping this plastic inflatable woman. One in the same.
Anyway, in the spirit of shit that I find cute….you know who I am incredibly attracted to? Michael J. Fox. I’m watching him on “In the Actor’s Studio” and I really want to be his friend. I really want to be from Canada when I watch him.
I think it has to do with the fact that he is seems so completely wholesome and family oriented. I’m noticing a pattern in myself…I find those two qualities, or at least, family oriented, incredibly attractive. Incredibly. Rush Limbaugh…you are an idiot. I apparently like them short also. I want to read his book. I kept myself from buying a book this weekend because I’ve already spent soooo much money on myself (make up, shoes, head phones, hair) when Mother’s day is around the corner. i’ll wait. I’ll wait. I’ll wait.