Maybe I’m Amazed


Maggie gave me this great statistic tonight abouthow something like 57% of women prefer chocolate over sex. 57%. this is why I need to take a statistics class. Because these numbers don’t tell the whole story, and from what I remember from my one semester of AP stats in High School (which I would have completed had I not had a nervous breakdown)is that statistics like these always have a background story that these numbers simply aren’t giving us. What they are giving is that some number of women wanted to participa in this survey, wanted to answer this question. We don’t know who they are, they’re age range, their occupations, their sexual orientation (do 57% of lesbians prefer chocolate over sex, or 57% of heterosexual women?) etc, etc. Also, what type of chocolate are you talking about? Are we talking about sex with a relatively new partner, a partner i’ve dated for sometime, a husband i’m married to, or someone i met a bar? So this is how I’m going to take this number: that 57% of all women, despite their circumstances, their sexual orientation, and no matter the degree of satisfaction with their partner, prefer chocolate over sex. Doesn’t that statement make it a little easier to accept that statistic. And, goodness, if you’d like to go into the argument of which type of chocolate (see my vote below), then here’s a little website that will at least give you an idea of how chocolate ranks according to one choco-file.

Interesting. I wonder on which side of that statistic i would fall. I guess, based on the choices I’ve been making with men lately (including a gentleman that I just met who wanted me to come over to his place to watch movies…which is code for so he could try to fuck me. What a lazy fuck- figuratively, but also probably literally) i’m definitely choosing the chocolate over sex. And if it were up to my mother, who said to me no less then 15 minutes ago, “Don’t let good sex cloud your judgement” I’d be choosing chocolate over sex every time. And, from the world view i’m having at this time, I’m pretty okay with choosing chocolate over sex for a while, unless it was with LL Cool J, or Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson. Either, or both, of these two ALWAYS.

Unless….the chocolates were these:

Yeah, I’d pretty much choose these chocolates over any and every circumstance in the book. I’m convinced their made with pixie dust and the love of angels, those the ingredients are listed as partially hydrogenated vegetable oil, sugar, low-fat cocoa, whey powder. No milk. Amazing. Cuz they certainly don’t taste like dark chocolate. And what is whey powder? Like curds and whey? Hmmmm.. So I’m convinced, the chocolate that would tip the scales of this survey are the Trader Joe’s French Truffles. even a nymphomaniac wouldn’t say no.


One response »

  1. I think they should take a poll to see how many women would offer sex in order to get the chocolate. That’s a number I’d like to know.

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