Now that’s what I call good TV

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I love LOGO. What a great channel! I particularly love it becuase I came home from the gym tonight to be greeted by a short film in which a thugish, really cute, corn-rowed, Latino boy/man/guy is talking to someone who is obviously a MtF transexual. They’re at her house, i have no idea how the story progressed to this point because i came home from the gym aroud 11:15, so the movie had already started, but all I know is that she offeres him some ice cream, and says she’s going to change her shirt. Then you see him peering through the door at her, and then they start to kiss. The next scene is where the boy finds out that she’s a prostitute, and is all upset becuase he wants her to get a real job because he really likes her! And the scene i’m watching now he’s brought her a bejeweled teddy bear, and is like “I’ve never liked a girl as much as i like you” and wants to walk her home at the end of each night. Its almost nauseating. Its good to see that queer tv can be as disgustingly love sick as heterosexual tv. Fucking twenty bucks says someone (ie the transexual) dies. Wanna make that bet? Well, you can watch the short film here! Gotta love technology. You can see it on TV once, and watch it on the internet forever. I’m a sucker for a love story. Oh, this is not going to end well at all. Eek. Pobrecito. Just watch it…its touching.

I talked my self down from an emotional jag. I get to close to events and their outcome, especially when they occur in any extention of my family. No matter what the reach, the emotions run like a current of electricity and strike me straight in the heart. A particular issue happened in our family that resulted in an eye opening revelation about the most “pious” members of my family, and an 8 year prison sentence . Recently, it all came to an end with a $6.2 million settlement for those hurt the most, and me feeling totally miserable because of an inability to know, to protect, to act. I was on the verge of going on an incredible crying jag, and reconsidering if i could handle being a school psycologist knowing what i know about the public school system and life in general. Suddenly, an innervoice said, “Candace, you had nothing to do with this. You were too young and too removed from the situation to be able to do anything about it. You didn’t even know what was going on. They know that. People can tell who cares and who doesn’t. You cared. You just had no idea.” And that calmed me down. Alot. That pattern of thinking is keeping me calm right now. And its made me realize that the ability to be able to have that thought, to regulate my emotions and step back and look at the situation clearly…and not in hysterics, makes me absolutely able to to be a school psychologist. It makes me able to take on most anything if i really want it.

Now, i want a hobby. Something I’m good at. Something I can show others, and they can see what I’m about.

can i just say that if homosexuals want to risk their lives to protect our country or for whatever reason they join the military, shouldn’t they be honored as the brave human beings they are? who cares who they’re fucking? Shit, i’m not about to volunteer for war. Our country has a mighty fucked up way of honoring the men and women who are apart of the military. Despite one’s political affiliation, one’s feelings about the current war that is in progress, despite creepy guys like Dr. Laura’s son and those wierd pictures of him (because even people who are not in the military have the abillity to be as fucked up and wierd as those pictures make him out to be), veterans deserve more then what they’re being given. I think its 100% possible to be against the war, but to support our troops. I think its 100% possible to be patriotic without supporting this war. The best patriots are the parents who are raising their children to change this world, to educate, to inspire, to dream. Hey, did anyone else get their TFA Alumni magazine?

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2 responses »

  1. I really like your new blog layout. 🙂

    When I was reading the story about the show on LOGO, I couldn’t help but sing “Roxanne”.

    You did the right thing to stay in perspective concerning the emotional event that happened with your family. Kudos girl, and personally I think you’d not only make a great School Psychologist, I think you’d be a great anything.

    I can’t think of a good hobby. Does sleeping count?

    I could never stand Dr. Laura.

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