I really shouldn’t drink. Really I shouldn’t. It makes me drunk, which allows me to just eat without thinking about it, and at the end I am always kind of depressed. i think i’m kind of depressed right now. i know that i said i would try to think about the world differently, but its just poopy. i just don’t feel very well. I am internalizing this guy not calling me, and letting it impact the way i feel about myself and my place in the world. i need to find a way to occupy my time, find something that I am good at, that I can be proud of. i don’t have anything like that. i don’t have anything that makes me have confidence in me. i didn’t even finish the book we’re reading for the book club lunch we’re having tomorrow. what is wrong with me? i’m just tired. of everything.