186.5 (I’m wearing a wet towel on my head)
its been a long 48 hours. The first 24 I didn’t get any sleep (it was GradNite, which was great until it wasn’t, and I lost my shit and became an emotional mess all yesterday morning…then I just couldn’t sleep or eat all day) then the second 24, which blurred into the first, I still couldn’t sleep, so I ordered a pizza (it was just too hot to cook) and I went out drinking with Esther, Jeremy, Steven, and Joey. It was just the thing I needed. It cleared my head, made me really drunk (I love the motherload), and actually let me get some sleep…even if it was only 5 hours worth. Its like my body metabolized that need for sleep, and just threw it away. I no longer needed it, becaues it wasn’t going to come.
So, I am an emotional mmess lately. I turned to lifetime, and it was that show Army Wives…so I went online to find out more about it, and I just wanted to cry. The website just seems so touching. My job is to fill my life with music that makes me feel the way I feel when i am touched by what I see on TV. I know that sentence made no sense. No sense at all. But I love the way music makes me feel. I love the way i feel when I’m with my friends. I haven’t been loving the way I feel when I’m by myself. I’m trying to change the way i think and view the world. I am going to slow down and open up my eyes. I am not going to trip out because I choose to eat pizza for lunch. Its okay.