so…..i’m seeing someone. i didn’t expect it to happen, and really have just been watching it creep up on me, well aware that it was happening, but kind of wondering if it was really happening. its been building up for about a month…3 weeks actually. He’s been pretty upfront this whole time, but in a way that was totally not overbearing-just trying to make me feel comfortable-lets spend time together kind of way. I’ve been relaying the stories to my girl D who has become my life coach of sorts, and she’s seen it coming the whole time, and wasn’t even suprized when i told her that suddenly I found him attractive. And i still find him attractive. so we talked last night, and discussed the boundaries of what was going on between us (we’re avoiding having a conflict of interest), and when discussing what is going on between us socially, he responded, “we’re courting.” this made me swoon internally because that was my intention all along. Someone should tell my body that because its getting out of control. So, I went back to D with an update on our “courting” and we had a long talk this afternoon about creating the picture in our head of how we want our lives to be, as in, i’ve always had this picture in my head about how I will end up in 20 years (kick ass house near the beach, with a descent sized dog, and a convertible mercedes benz), so when she asked me how i picture my future partner I had no idea what to say. I’ve always just pictured myself alone ultimately-which isn’t what i want, but is the life i am unintentionally creating. so, i’ve been tasked with picturing my idea life in 20 years. how do i see my life in 20 years? who am i spending it with? what is it about this person that makes them the person i spend my life with? this is an assignment i give to my students. i can easily picture a kickass house and a dog because that picture usually includes me going for a run with my kick ass dog….not focusing on whom i sharing this life with. The things i want in a husband will inform what i want in a partner, which will inform the criteria by which i will measure the relationship i’m developing with this guy. This guy is very cool…and for the first time I think I actually like this guy who ACTUALLY LIKES ME MORE…he likes me because i’m smart and pretty. He’s super nice. super nice. and not in that cliche “let’s fuck” kind of way. so, i’m just taking it day by day…and i’m trying to imagine my life in 20 years. I still only see my kick ass car, house, and dog. HELP!


3 responses »

  1. Try finding out what’s preventing you from visualizing your life in 20 years with a guy to share it with. Could it be, this guy is a lot of fun and a boost to the self esteem, but there’s something about him that would disqualify him from being with you in the future? Is there something in yourself that’s limiting you from being able to conjure up an image of someone to be with in 20 years?

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