Oh I am so in love with the Lord right now! I figure i can say things like that to you because you’re my friend and you love me. All of me! So you also love that part of me that is completely head over heels for the Lord right now. I’m generally a loving God kind of girl. But these last two weeks have amazing. More then just these past few weeks, but maybe even these past few months. Since before my birthday- which puts us back at Spring Break. I was having a seriously hard time with work and life and my head, but at the same time thing were going really well with getting support from my friends and developing my Christianity and getting support in that area from friends. Which was the beginning of this love fest. Things didn’t start getting easier, they just transformed. I refocused my sight, and am now working towards not focusing on the end (which is already guaranteed to be great!) but the process, and being an active participant in the process of becoming this vessel of love and light. Denise reffered me to her bodywork woman who helped me verbalize and make emotional connections that had been suffocating me. I told Denise that this summer she would have to help me find a place in Lemiert Park or Ladera Hieights. So, two weeks ago (may 1st) i was at this training, where I met Terri. I was talking with Terri about how I wanted to move to the Crenshaw and Slauson area. She said, “You should move to Lemiert Park.” I responded with, “that’s exactly where I want to move…but how do you find a place around there?” that’s when she told me that she had a great apartment in Lemiert and needed to find a new place because she couldn’t stand her roommate. I went down on May 4th I went down, took a tour of the amazing apartment (its HUGE! with a huge living room, washer and dryer, and modern appliances), met the potential roommates, and fell in love with the apartment. Its crazy. I put out this prayer, this energy, this want and need, and there it is. BAM! I had dinner with the roomies, A and T, who are also from Washington. We went to college within 5 miles from each other. Well, I graduated in 2003, and they graduated in 2007, so technically its 5 miles and 4 years from each other…but that doesn’t count. A teaches at Gompers- the school where I did my TFA institute- and T teaches at LA Academy- the school at which I was supposed to teach if I hadn’t failed the CSET. CRAZY. We had dinner on Wednesday and everything is set for me to move. I talked to Terri on Friday, and she found an apartment around the corner from where I am going to move! She told me that after we agreed to move by the end of May, she went on Craigslist and found a place…SNAP…just like that! We’re having dinner this Wednesday to handle things with the lease. Since she won’t be moving into my place, I was just a tad bit concerned about having to pay rent or not for the 7 days that will be going into the month of June, but during which I will not be living here. I woke up this morning, decided that I needed to take control of my finances a little more (I was beyond irresponsible this weekend) and decided that instead of waiting until later tonight to go to church, I’d hit the 9 am service. This meant that I would have to come back to my apartment after wards to get my supplies for the day. When I came back, I packed my stuff, but had forgotten my laptop charger, so I had to go backto my apartment. As I’m going back to my apartment, this middle aged Filipino woman stops me and says, “Do you live here? do you know how I can talk to the manager.” I point out the manager’s apartment, and she goes into this story about how she’s looking for an apartment, a one bedroom, and asks me if I know if anything is still for rent. I hesitantly tell her that, well, my place will be up for rent by the end of the month. She needs a place by the end of the month- she’s looking for a place that’s near her church- the Mormon church that is right across the street! I tell her its only a studio. She tells me that she only need a studio or a one bedroom because its only her and her 5 year old. I took her to my place, and showed her around- there’s not much to see, but there is a lot of storage space- and she was so happy! she was even happier when I told her that the stove was relatively new (only a year old) and that the fridge and stove come with the apartment. She was estatic, especially at the price. I went and introduced her to Alma, the apartment manager, who was as equally astonished as I about this meeting. We all agreed that God must have put us in the right place at the right time! Talk about getting your needs met! She has an application and was on her way to getting a money order for the application. Isn’t it crazy! no…its God! I swear, I am so blown away. And not just because of this one thing, but because it just keeps adding up…more and more and more… in ways that are way beyond my control. I mean, I’ve been blessed with oppurtunities in the past that were in direct correlation with the God given abilities I have- intellect, physical health, mental health-and the strength and convictions to follow through in developing those areas. But Terri, and teh apartment, and the roommates, and the lady today…that is God’s grace! Both Denise and Nolathonda agree that I should be way more ambitious with my prayers, because things happen when I put the energy out there!
This also means that I have to be way more deliberate about the action that goes with that prayer- including my everyday thoughts about others and myself. Primarily starting with myself…we’re focusing on reaffirming that I am, in fact, enough. Its my mantra. I am enough. I’m living it. Its changing my life…see above paragraphs. I need to apply this to all areas of my life: career, thoughts about students, thoughts about men, thoughts about friends, relationships…all of it. The prayers and positive energy we put out there is powerful.
I should be putting my powerful prayers and intentions towards finishing my term paper and writing my lesson plans. don’t worry, I always put them out there for you.