can you hear me now?


i’m sitting in an interview right now for a math candidate…Goodness. i know this isn’t terribly professional, but he’s bombing. He’s completely lost me. I haven’t updated in a while. Its been a very distracting two weeks. AMAZINGLY DISTRACTING. I can see how people get swept away with their lives and forget to update. Goodness. I don’t know where to start. My last entry about Days 11 and 12 were erased from my WORD Document, so let me sum it up:

Day 11:

* Lunch with Don on Capitol Hill. I got to see his office, we talked, and he continues to inspire me everyday.

*Strolled Capitol Hill, bought a book (the United States of Arugula) then headed to some galleries in Belltown.

*Met up with highschool friend Becca, who made me realize just how great my life is…not in juxtaposition with a “badness” in her life, but because I realized that we are so lucky to be 28 year old women who are single and have the world at their feet.

*Had dinner at the Impromptu Bistro with Courtney and Cyrus, her fiancee, who makes her happy and is awesome! I really liked him. I definitely caught a glimpse of why she is in love with him. I went with her to SeaTac airport to pick up refugees from Burma by way of Malaysia. It was interesting. She sets up refugees in the US, ensuring that they have emergency housing, community access, and a general gateway to improving their lives. She’s seriously changing the world, that one. Its easy to see why she’s such a great person

* got home and pigged out! A BLT salad a dinner does not make. I packed, then spent two days on the train getting home. The train hit a bike on its tracks just outside of Chatsworth, and we had to stop. I was in the lounge car trying to make a phone call when all of the lights and electricity shut off. it was a trip. i wasn;t scared, it just made for a seriously interesting situation.

Tracie picked me up from the train station, and when i got home I went and hung out with UN S- who’d been texting me pretty sporadically during the week, and had done so early that evening to see if I’d made it home. We hung out with his roommate, UN E, and another cat from up the street. So….here is where things get interesting: UN S and me are pretty much an US. No, we are an US… the conversation has been had, time has spent, hearts shared, trust promised, and (sigh, smile, blush) we’re totally an US. Here is how it happened:

Friday, Sean comes by to hang out while I unpack groceries. We talk about how he’s changing his job, and he invites me to breakfast, his treat. I love breakfast, I love not paying for things, and he’d asked me to hangout before, but i’d always found some reason why I couldn’t, so this time I say yes. We eat breakfast at S&W where the waitress quizzes him like we’re on date, and i begin to feel uncomfortable because i don’t want to make him uncomfortable and think that i have any other intentions other then breakfast. For weeks my brain had been trying to make sense of the time we’d spent together, and at this point i was convinced that we’re only ever going to be friends. We had breakfast, he took me to this art gallery that his mentor rents, the adjacent coffee shop and the handmade soap store from where he purchases his wares. After this we head back to my place for some more hanging out. I don’t know why, I just like to hang out. It means that I’m not at home doing nothing. We watched Mixed Martial Arts, surfed the net, and decided to go see a movie: X-Files (I thought it would be better, I’m sad that it was not). We saw the movie (I bought the tickets, because he’d bought my breakfast, and friends split the cost!), he bought me dinner (sushi!), got gelato (where he asked me to try his coconut flavor), hung out at the Barnes and Noble where he asked me if I wanted to go to a chill club with him. I love dancing, and hanging out (as already established), and he drove back home (he lives above me, so the use of “home” to refer to where we both live is not only acceptable, but fitting) so that I could change from flip flops to dancing shoes (and I didn’t even ask!). When we went dancing, we danced pretty seperated. In the same space, but not close. He bought me drinks while he sipped water, and as the club became me full, dudes started dancing closer, and as I was thinking, “how great is this! I have a guy friend who likes to go dancing!!” he pulls me closer and we start dancing closer. And Closer…and closer…and then there is reggae music (dub) and really, we totally danced as close as we could get….and I still thought, “oh, we’re just dancing…” and “he can’t be blamed for any biological responses he has while we dance…I’m hot!” It wasn’t until we were slow dancing to an Al Green song, and he was attempting to make eye contact and I just couldn’t do it, that I realized what was going: HE LIKED ME! HE WAS TOTALLY INTERESTED! We danced until 1:30am before he took my hand and led me to the car. We came back to my place, grabbed some fruit and headed to his place (because its such a short walk) and in his kitchen…HE KISSED ME! We ended up making out and talking until like 5 am.

Saturday night I went to see him DJ at this art gallery where he put my name on the list,introduced me to his friends.  i was taken by surprise at the liberty he took with my body. he draped his arm around me, held my waist, held my hand…We spent the whole night talking again.

Sunday i went to the beach with Amanda, but then Sunday night we hung out late again…basically, we’ve seen each other every night since our first date. We’ve had some seriously intense conversations about our feelings for each other, the amazingness of this pairing, and the many, many ways we just fit together. I never thought he’d be this way. EVER. This last Saturday he took me to the Griffith Park Observatory to view the planetarium and “At the center of the universe” show. Planetariums are his favorite place. He then took me to LACMA, where we visited the Broad Museum. Seeing Warhols and Lichtensteins up close is AMAZING! In Seattle there is this park called the Olympic park where there are large peices of rusted sheet metal. Shals, they have this same thing at LACMA. I was so excited to see it…I led him through it, then made out with him in the center. Because nothing says LA like making out IN a piece of art. Afterwards he rapped for me. I know it sounds cheesy, but he’s a DJ, and is really good at it. He took me to dinner in Beverly Hills at Kate Matalins. He recovered the pictures I deleted from my computer on accident. He makes me trust him…really, really, really trust him. The first week of all of this my heart was doing somersaults. Then when Friday came along we both swooned at the fact that it had only been a week, but had felt like so much longer. I can’t even adequately describe how well he knows me, how closely he pays attention, how much he makes me laugh. On the first Tuesday of us being together, I noticed that my face hurt in the oddest way. I told him this, and sat with him on his couch. He said something that made me laugh…and I realized. My face hurt because he’d made me laugh and smile just that much. I’ve never ever had my face hurt from smiling. he tells me we’re going to make things work, for better or for worse. and when he says that, i believe him. I really believe him. I have never felt this way, and I’ve dated guys! Goodness, have i dated. I’ve been in love…goodness, have I ever. But this, him, us…I like it a lot. A LOT! if this doesn’t work, for any reason, i will be so devastated…and seriously grateful to have even experienced such an amazing amount of kindness and dedication.

I saw him for a second today. He snuck up on me as I was coming home and scared he Dickens out of me. he’s out. it is taking all that is in me to keep from texting him. its good that we spend time apart… proximity lends itself to over saturation. i’m not even telling my roommates yet.

i should be working, but i can’t think of what i need to do. I just needed to tell you.


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