The chronicles of Narnia

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i’m sure some of you were wondering if i was every going to go back to work. i have been on vacation for quite some time, and my entries have been focused more on affairs of the heart then on educating the masses. Its just that there has been so much work and drama about the start of the new year that its a drag to talk about. It seriously is. But i need to talk about it, i suppose. I talk to sean about it, and my mom, and denise, and then i live it, and then at that point, it feels like it is taking over my life. Seriously in the most negative of ways. Starting about a few weeks ago, I could feel the pressure sitting on my chest like a fat giant. Now the pressure has just normalized, and I am moving along the best I can. I don’t like how its affecting me. I expressed my frustration and disspaointment in my room assignment to my boss in a very unprofessional (eg angry) way a few weeks ago, and though the problem was “solved” and “solved” again, the whole thing feels as messy as it really is. I guess starting a revolution requires one to be more on teh front lines then i’ve previously experienced. i’ve had horrible ups and downs about my abilities as a professional and the definition of what I do as an educator (Denise, Sean, and even my roommate Alisha have been very helpful in slowing that roller coaster of emotions down and pointing me in a direction that looks manageable). Its weird how these last five months have punched a whole in the damn that holds back my emotions. now things are oddly conneccting and while i know how to deal with them (by working, and not dealing with them) they’re all still very connected and will deal with me whether i want to deal with them or not. it goes back to self worth, validaiton,

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