I do. They’re called classmates.
I have 50 more minutes in class. I’ve been here over two hours. This is one of those excruciating once a week 3-hour classes. Ever since I decided that my time would be better spent pursuing writing and “supplementing” working with children (not teens) in education, I’ve lost all interest in project management. I’ve lost all interest in leading a group. I am a great leader; I just want to store quality up and be a leader for my children. Is that selfish? It sounds crazy doesn’t it. Well, not crazy, but it certainly doesn’t sound like a 21st century girl. That is probably because I’m a 21st century woman. Ha! suck it world. I’m trying not to get caught up in my own ideas of how i think other people will judge my career choices. I almost hate telling people that I am a special education teacher. While it is very nice for people to express what they believe is an empathy towards what they think my job is, it was really way more incredible- in the positive and negative sense- then I can put into words. Since I struggle with putting things into verbal words period, I always find myself ensuring them that my kids were great and the reason that I no longer teach is the current state of education today.
Confession: I’d rather be a housewife then wonder every month whether or not I was going to go on strike/have a progress review meeting with an administrator who doesn’t know what I do or how I can do it better/wrestle with a systematic lowering of expectations.
Wow, resentment much? Even typing this out is making my stomach hurt. I took off this year to make a big change in my life and well, I am trying at least. I do enjoy working with the kiddos at the ole Learning Center. I’ve been looking online for jobs in education and there are a lot of positions for instructional assistants for behavior intervention specifically working with children with autism and progressive developmental delays (this means kiddos, not teens). I have had a classmate who taught in self contained classroom for students with autism at public school in Lennox. I figure that being an assistant to a teacher as awesome as her would be a pretty good deal. My soul is longing to work under a leader who knows what they are doing. le sigh. My mother is an instructional assistant in a mild to moderate kinder classroom for students who mostly manifest moderate levels of disabilities. She loves it so much though it is as hard as the day is long. we’ll see which way I go. I may take an early child hood ed class online this summer. My fear is that education will continue to break my heart with reality. le sigh.
Confession: little children in large numbers (20+) scare me worse then clowns.
30 minutes to go. funny story: I am working 4-8 hours a week! How much money do you think I received in my first pay check? Did you say zero dollars…because you’d be correct! I made a mistake filling out my w4 (now that we’re married they’re not as simple as they once were) and so my entire paycheck of like $54 went to taxes. I emailed my scanned copy of my w4 to our accountant and she’s going to advise me about how to proceed once she gets a copy of Sean’s check stub.
My instructor just used a Dilbert comic strip to display a common issue in project management. Sadly, I laughed. UGH.
Another funny story: dropping those six credits in April automatically bumped me out of loan deferment. This stirs (violently) my need to find a second part time job. Sean tells me not to worry about it every time I mention it or even look concerned. We’re saving money and not spending (well, okay, we’re spending a lot less then we used to, and his poker winnings certainly covered any extra expenses on the cruise) and Sylvan will have more hours for me in the summer. My goal for the paycheck I will be earning is to save up for dental surgery and to pay my loans.
8 minutes. He is totally not showing any sign of stopping. I should stop. I am never taking a class like this ever again. Like Vegas, I am too old for this. Thanks for reading the rambling.