Category Archives: funny

Read-a-thon 8am-1pm

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Lunch and a read-a-thon

I swear, I need every weekend to be a read-a-thon.  I’ve gotten so much done  this morning with an audiobook in my ear.  I spent two hours last night reading Takes One to Know One, a friend’s manuscript.  Woke up, plugged in my ipod and took in J.D. Robb’s “Holiday in Death.” I took 45 minutes to read Chapter 12 and 13, wishing I hadn’t. What a way to ruin perfectly good reading by adding homework. I stuck to my plan of listening to the audiobook to and from my volunteering, but taking the audiobook to the gym has been replaced with eating pizza and listening the audiobook.  I could do this everyday.

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Measurements

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I had a great night tonight laughing and laughing with Lady D and Cousin.  Cousin is in town until tomorrow morning to help Lady D after her surgery.  Over wings and fries- I am so over fries right now…give me a salad- we shared stories about the funnier moments in education. Lady D also mentioned that her cousin, who is newly single, needed a boyfriend rubric.  How apprapo!  I have a boyfriend rubric. We created it years ago when I was 25 and dating strangers I met on line.  I have to wonder, so many years later, how the man I met at 27 and married at 29 measures up to the standards I set for the potential men in my life at 25.  Goodness.  I was such a different person then, but my essential being was the same.  I am so lucky right now to be doing the things I didn’t even dream of when I was 25.  Here we go,

Directions: Rate your mate by how well he fits each category. Be brutally honest with yourself (we were). Add up your score: 12 is the average…anything under a 10 should really probably be rethought.
Looks and Attractiveness  2 Jim Carrey- Average looking dude with okay hair, teeth, hygiene and style
Sean is no Brad Pitt, but Brad Pitt is barely Brad anymore.  I love that I look at Sean and think he’s really handsome. I’ve  dated my fair share of guys who I liked, but whose looks were not near the top. 
Education and Ambition 3 Master’s Degree or a bachelor’s degree that is enough to get him to be the highest in his field; doesn’t own his home, but owns his car.  Sean doesn’t have a college education, but he is an elitist at what he does.   He owned his car before we donated to charity
Personality 3.5 Funny, Social justice minded, cares about others; Democrat.   Sean is way more liberal then I at times but we respect each other’s politics and the general concern for the well being of others and ourselves. 
Treatment of Girl on a Date (life) 4 Bring flowers for no reason; opens doors always; pays for everything when we go out. Sean periodically brings homes flowers for no reason; when we were dating he did this as well.  From the bat we made a deal: I would pay for breakfast, he would pay for dinner.  Now that we’re a 1.5 income household, we eat in and I cook.  I like this arrangement because everything I eat out makes me sick to think of (for the taste, its almost never worth the cost). 

For Lady D’s cousin we made a  much more specific list of what would be scored as a 0 and what would be a 5 and then we’ll fill in the middle with degrees of specificity.  She has things that she’s experienced in the past- like all of us- that she doesn’t want to experience again.  This is what I’ve learned from therapy:  that little voice inside of you, when your brain is clear and your heart is strong in self love, will lead you down the right path. I reminded her that there were probably times with both of her past loves where she heard that voice inside of her say “run” and she told herself to shut up.  We do this as women. We stop listening to our intuition for any number of reasons when really it knows what is good for us.  We know what is good for us.  I’ll end up typing up our rubric, because sometimes we need a physical reminder of what we know is good for us and from what we know we should run.  In the end, rubric or intuition, it will be her choice anyways.  It was just really fun to create.  I won’t be posting it because its rather specific and possibly very offensive…but real.

**Just in case your wondering, the aforementioned K2 of the blog entry didn’t last very long, but he was a good kisser and had great hands, which went onto be the founding principles in the husband rubric*.

*I don’t have a husband rubric.  I do admit that when Sean first kissed me the voice inside of me told me that  I would have to trust him and that he would be the last man I ever kissed. He’s an amazing kisser!

Cruise

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Carnival Paradise*I did not take this picture, though I did watch a similar sunset.

Sean and  I went on a mini-working vacation with is job from Friday to Monday.  His work took the entire office – actually offices, there are three around the world-on a 3day Cruise to Ensenada, Mexico.  Talk about a treat.  The only thing we had to pay for was our excursion, alcohol, soda and extra goodies.  It was a very nice experience that I really only want to have again on someone else’s dime.  I’ve been holed up at home all day, emptying my stomach and watching the last episodes of Oprah. This is not because of the food or water in Mexico (the water in Ensenada is bottled …ALL OF IT).  It is definitely because of the food on the cruise. To give  you a little perspective, there are only three restaurants in Los Angeles that I enjoy: Sakura, Mr. Cecil’s California Ribs, and S&W Country Diner.  The rest I find mediocre and honestly believe that with a little practice I can make most anything I can eat at a restaurant.  The food on the cruise was like 20 times worst then anything I could find in Los Angeles.  Even the high brow food in the dining rooms only received a grade of C-.  My last meal was a BLT and veggie sticks with Ginger Ale.  My stomach has hated me all day.  I am sorry tummy…I am sorry.

The  highlights of the cruise:

1) the wait staff in the Elation Lounge danced to two songs each night.  We were eating our first dinner in the dining room together and all of a sudden Pit Bull’s “Calle Ocho (I know you want me)” was blaring from the speakers and the wait staff was dancing and twirling napkins over their heads.  I still don’t get it.  The second song was Flo-Rida’s “Get Low” which Sean tried to get me to dance to. I was mortified and danced a little, but mostly sat back down.  On the second night the more “randy” of his collegues joined in on the dancing, especially when the wait staff danced to “Jai ho”.

2) the La Bufadora tour was pretty nice.  We rode up in a charter bus and listened to the tour guide.  The La Bufadora was pretty unimpressive (apparently, its the most beautiful on the days when the weather is the absolute worst) but since there are only three in the world I’m glad that we went.  I also got a very pretty silver necklace from a reputable dealer who is backed by the cruise line and recommended by our tour guide.  We ended up going to a restaurant beause Sean’s coworker’s fiancee wanted oysters.  We wanted tacos and churros so those were kind of procured after the oysters (sean got churros, I got a nice necklace, and we forgot were the great taco place was so we skipped tacos).

3) enjoying pina coladas in the sun from the top deck on the day at sea was pretty nice as well.

Drawbacks (which will get the smallest mention)

1) the food

2) the cold cabins—GOODNESS GRACIOUS!

3) the ship vibrating like an earthquake each evening. FRIGHTENING.

4) for some reason, I was overwhelmingly fatigued each night starting at 8.  what is up with that!?

It was an-and slightly stressful- experiment in life sans technology for Sean and I.  I left my cellphone at home, and the international charges for texting and calls from Sean’s cellphone would have been astronomical, so we used it only as an alarm clock. This definitely cause difficulty on the last day when we couldn’t track each other down and spent an hour or more walking around looking for the other.  However, I do feel quite good about some decisions I have decided to make that I think will help me with my clarity and writing.  I am “unplugging” from Facebook for a while.  I am also going to watch less TV (which I don’t watch much of anyway) in order to read a lot more.  Both will help clear my head and focus in on my inner voice and less on the compounding sounds of everyone else.  I think it will also push me to have more experiences with people instead of experiencing people via 200 character headlines.  This “unplugging” does not include blogs.  Some of the best writers I’ve read in a while have blogs (you know who you are are) and they’re really helpful in developing my skill.  We’ll see how this goes.

Image: ‘DSC02211

Yeah, Babies!

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Mollie, Lindsey, and Me at Mols baby shower 01/24/2009.

Mollie, Lindsey, and Me at Mols baby shower 01/24/2009.

A good number of my friends are having or have had babies.  Deanna is pregnant with her second child (I believe it will be a girl), Amy just had twins (increasing her brood from one to three), Jen just had Sam, Monica had her little girl a few months ago, Sarah has Ben (whom I think is 3), Jenny Rivera had her second two years ago (Joaquin), Beth had twins last year, and Meredith had Ryley about two years ago also.  This doesn’t even include my students who have or will be having babies (three students in total) or the girls (and their boyfriends) I’ve known who have been having babie since high school.  Babies are not in my immediate future (though I’d love for them to be in my plans), but its fun to see and know all of these pregnant women.

Yesterday was the baby shower for Mollie and Kirk.  It was small and intimate (with about 7 of us there) but it was really nice.  The way things are nice when you have a budget and friends who care.  Her sister in law, Anne, and great friend, Meredith, hosted the party, while her other good friend, Sissi, was in charge of coordinating the games, party favors, and gifts.   They did a really good job, and it wasn’t over the top, just fun.   It was fun to catch up with people whom I haven’t seen or talked to in awhile, but with whom I have different types of conversations- ones that aren’t dominated by work and tales of that sort.  It was a mixed crowd of mothers/non mothers, but all of us were young women, who were educated and had this positive outlook on life.  Sometimes I don’t want to talk about work, or the issues plaguing my/students in Watts, or the issues some teacher on campus is going through, or how we need to be socially/morally/ethically responsible about something or other.  Sometimes I just want to enjoy this new life that I’ve grown into.

I’ve realized that I’ve learned a lot in hindsight.  Especially about people.  Mollie, Lindsay, Sissi.  The more I learn about myself, the more I’m realizing what I didn’t know about others.  I get caught up in the comparison, “the grass is greener over there…but I don’t know where ‘there’ is” kind of thought pattern (depression can be quite ego centric in a bass-ackward kind of perspective).   I am also entirely too influenced by the opinions of others that I can let it cloud my the development of my own thoughts and opinions.

Sean and I went to Trader Joe’s this afternoon.  That place was packed, as usual for a Sunday.  There was a beautiful little girl sitting in the seat area of the basket, and I waved to her as I was midconversation with Sean about salt.  I saw her go to smile, then looked over at Sean (who was no where near me) and really smiled.  So, I said, “what…hey, I smiled at her…and she smiles at you?  I am such baby repelent” which made people around me laugh.  I keep working on not going all Tina Fey on 30 Rock on the world.  I’m only 27…and not even engaged…so no baby craze for me.

Now I must decide, do I do work or do I play a video game?  HMMMMMM…

Ode to my Dee..

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It was amazingly beautiful today.  I woke up all full of energy and wanting to get the hell out from under my mother (she’s great, but you know, i felt squashed, and not intentionally by her I just needed to get out) so I hopped on a bus to Seattle.  I would be posting pictures right now but it had 374 photos on my camera and its taking a minute to download.  So I thought I’d take a minute to tell you about my little angel, my niece Deanna.  I should go backwards because there are so many things that crack me up about her.

Right now she’s in her room singing Hannah Montana’s “Best of Both Worlds” at the top of her lungs.  We just put a poster up in her room of the Jonas Brothers, all three of whom she insists are her boyfriends and whom she wants to play in her bedroom.  My response, “Those boys will not be visiting this bedroom for any reason at all.”  I’m such an aunt with that one.  She then promptly kicked me out of her bedroom.

We’ve had such a great time being together.  We’ve watched maybe 50 movies together.  Its with her that I view a majority of the  tween movies like High School Musical, Herbie Love Bug, The Spyderwick Chronicles, etc. We’ve played at least 3 games of Disney Channel Monopoly, during which she proclaimed “Gimme my money” every time she passed Go-i swear my sister taught her that.  We were sitting on the couch the other night trying to tickle each others feet.  She has the best laugh.  Her face kind of just folds into itself and she leans back in a fit of uncontrollable giggles.  I wish that I could get a picture of it.  Its beautiful. I can’t even describe it.  Watching her laugh like that makes me laugh so hard.

She loves to watch musicals, like me.  We saw Mamma Mia tonight, which honestly, I didn’t realize was for the “older set”.  It was still pretty good.  I’m an ABBA fan.  Dee likes the bright lights and dancing, so really, it was a win-win situation for everyone.

She does this thing where she lays a mat on the floor and pretends to give birth.  I KNOW!  its CRAZY! she laid down my mother’s yoga mat, folded a towel behind her to create a pillow and laid down the green throw blanket, then sat down, propped herself up on her elbows and pretended to have a baby.   A BABY.  INSANITY.  She comes up to me with her hands cradled together and tried to hand me an invisible baby.  I yelled up to my mom, “MOM! she had a baby!  she’s pretending to have a baby!  What is going on?!”

Every time she sees an airplane she says, “Airplane!  Its going to disneyland.”  In 06 my parents came down for my graduation and took her to Disneyland, which she loved!  She has the best response when she sees me after I’ve been away.  We all met up at the mall when I came back from Seattle today.  My niece saw me and just took off running towards me with her arms wide open and ran smack into me, giving me the biggest hug yet!  I love surprising her when I come home.  When I came home last Thursday I woke her up at midnight.  She wears glasses when she’s awake because she has a lazy eye (like Princess Paris Hilton), so when she sees me, she always takes these three short breaths as its becoming clear who is sitting in front of her. Then she gives me a tight hug.  A few weeks before I came down she told me to come over to her house, that I could sleep in her bedroom and she’d sleep in my  mom’s room.  So, when I woke her up she gave me a hug, then got out of bed and climbed into my parents bed.  Cute and generous too!

I think the first winter after I moved to Los Angeles I came home to visit.  One day I asked my niece, “How much do I love you?”  and then i would hold my arms out wide and say “This big!”  Then the next day I asked her the same question, and she just looked at me like I was crazy, and I held my arms out again.  the third day I asked her that question, and she totally held her arms out really large.  When I asked her last friday, “Dee, how much do you love me?”  she held her arms out wide!  Loving too!

My dad has mentioend to me a guilt that we both share: sometimes its difficult to understand what she’s saying.  She has speech impediment and used to see a speech therapist before they discontinued the services available at the local Franciscan hospital.  Now she gets a truncated version of speech therapy that I’m sure is not nearly as personalized as her one on one sessions.  Her mother was pretty neglectful, and though we got her pretty early in her life, there were so many developmental delays that we were trying to identify and work with that realizing that her hearing was obstructed was the last to be recognized.  She was at least 3 when my parents realized that her hearing was obstructed, which affected the way she processed language.  So while she speaks to us, and its certainly come a long way, she speaks to making sounds that she believes are the correct ways to pronounce the words.  Whats really nice about being home and spending so much time with her is that I am starting to be able to understand what she is saying to me.  We don’t have these long, drawn out conversations, but when she talks, I’m starting to be able to understand.  And that’s huge for me.

She’s my sweet heart, and I can’t help but worry about her future every day.  She has  Down’s syndrome, where in a chromosome is shattered (or something) and is designated mentally retarded.  She receives special education services in the FW school district.  My mother is a paraprofessional and works with students who have moderate to severe disabilities.  My mother, Deanna and my school psychologist inadvertently help me to remember that what I do is about what is best for the student, which this year has been less present in the front of my mind as I worked with general education teachers.  I can’t even count the number of times I’ve wished that I was back teaching SDP (Special Day Placement- where I taught students with a higher need of restriction- 2 general education classes instead of 5) instead of working with  general education teachers/students.  Working with adults has never been what I wanted to do.  I do this because I think I can have a direct effect on students whether its immediate or not.  I worry about what her future holds, how long my mother will be around to care for her, if she’ll be able to access the proper resources, and who my niece will be in 8 years when she’s 18…or in 5 years when she’s 15…or in 3 years when she’s 13.  Sometimes,  I worry that by living in Los Angeles I’m missing out on something.  she’s a constant reminder that I need to keep living.  I love my girl!

Me and My Doll

Me and My Doll

Getting wider by the minute

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My dad smoked some pork ribs last night, so they were pretty rockin’ tonight.  Yeah.  If this keeps up I may have to buy new clothes.  I think my mom is headed to the gym tomorrow.  If I wear my converse and some long pants I can hit the elliptical and some free weights.  Or the cafe. I don’t know. I’m on a roll…I mean role…or do I mean roll..I mean roll.  I was trying to be funny.  Ha. No.  sorry.  its the ribs, they’re clogging my arteries and brain waves.

the highlight of my morning was a trip to the Walmart.  I didn’t buy anything, so don’t trip.  I was invited to a Mary Kay party, but I think I will be having family dinner and planning Angel’s birthday.

My sister came over to hang out again today.  I have to say that I think my sister is absolutely beautiful.  she really is.  there are some peculiarities about her that I would love to understand but you know, we’re just starting.

We went to the movies with my mother and niece and saw Journey to the center of the Earth.  This movie was made for families, children,  and 3d fun.  Purely for 3-d fun.  It was completely devoid of any plot or acting, but i’m not sure if expected anything more.  The story was quickly paced in order to bring on the 3d effects.  Remember when we all first saw Jurassic Park?  I wish that I could have that moment back.  The feel of adrenaline pumping through me the first time I saw the T-Rex gain speed on the Jeep as it raced toward safety.  NOw that was awesome.  AWESOME.   Hollywood/Universal studios is hard pressed to match that moment.  I kind of wish they’d stop trying and stick to something with more substance…but then again I haven’t really been investing in viewing anything of a dramatic substantive nature.  Comedy and Action films have been my cup of tea of late.  And documentaries about life in the heartland (seriously, you’re in your 20’s, married, and you’re a courtesy clerk….huh?  but i’m trying not to judge.)

I changed my skin care regimen in April and my skin has been going crazy, so Angel helped me out by helping refine my skin care collection.  A combination of hormones, stress, and hair oil has caused my face to resemble someone who is in high school…someone really hot in high school…and this youthful look will pay off when i’m 50, but right now its just ridiculous and needs to end.  So after the movies Angel helped me figure out away to banish my inner 15 year old’s face to the nether regions of my subconscious.

right now my inner 15 year old wants to get back to watching Sky High.  Hero Support all the way.

new orleans

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here are the new orleans pics as best as I can get them up. what i did: went to conferences, hung out with Elizabeth, hexed my principal, ate tons of food, running into people i haven’t seen in forever, watching men just randomly start playing instruments/singing a capella in the street/bars/clubs, got stuck in the airport- but didn’t get trapped in the airport hell that is trying to get a flight out on American Airlines as of this morning! Goodness! Enjoy. Liz has much better pictures, so we’ll have to be patient for those.